States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This is classic penis vs brain.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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