we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
