I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think your dad took our porno
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize