2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
