new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
