I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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