I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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