Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
