Quick, to the slutcave!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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