All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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