Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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