We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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