We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
