so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize