please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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