If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
