I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
