I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
