Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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