we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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