Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
