you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
