Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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