We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
