that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
