either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
