i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
