So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
