He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
