I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
