pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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