Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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