i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
