Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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