We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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