Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
