it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
