I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So many bounce houses so little time
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
