why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
