I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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