If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
