her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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