You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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