He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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