If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
