3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
