Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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