i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
