i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
