epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize