Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
