I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
