Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
