Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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