i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
