Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
