I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
