someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
