why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
