No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize